


Saint Clair

by maydayunderground



Series: Escaping Gilead [1]
Category: The Handmaid's Tale (TV), The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-05 05:29:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 10,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11571315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maydayunderground/pseuds/maydayunderground
Summary: We have nearly a year to imagine what happens next in the series.  This is my version.





	1. Chapter 1

A gray floor. Four walls, each painted green below and cream above, forming a stripe at eye level if she stood up. A cream ceiling. One florescent light, over the bed (short, also gray, a six inch foam mattress and thick wool blanket covering the surface). In one corner a ceramic toilet extended from the wall; the sink jutted out from the wall opposite the bed, with a gray towel hanging above it. Beyond the foot of the bed, there was a door, painted a darker color. There was no window. 

On the day that the two Eyes led June here – out of the van, inside, past two guards, down a hall, past another guard, down an elevator, more guards, more hall, down a flight of stairs, down another hall, and into this cell – June turned around and saw a different man, in a gray suit. The Eyes left the room and closed the door behind them. 

“Your name is June?” he said. 

“Yes.” 

“I’m Matthew,” he stepped forward and offered his hand. “I’m going to take care of you for a while.” 

“How long is that?”

Matthew smiled. “Unclear. Your boyfriend gets to decide the next steps. We’re just a pit stop.”

“I have a daughter, her name is Hannah, she’s 8. Mrs. Waterford knows where she is. She would hurt her if anything happens to me. I won’t leave her.” 

Matthew stared into June’s eyes for a moment, as though searching for something, then looked away. “I’ll relay that, but in the meantime, you’re here. You’ll be bored, but no one will hurt you, after tonight at least.” 

Matthew reached back and knocked on the closed door. A man in scrubs walked in, rolling a carry-on suitcase behind him. “This is Johnathan. You’ll see him sometimes.” Jonathan nodded but kept his attention on the suitcase, which he’d placed on the floor and was now digging through. He pulled out a white coat and handed it to Matthew. 

“What are you going to do to me?” 

Matthew put on the coat. “Sit down, June.” She sat back onto the bed and clasped her hands together. 

“It’s the tag in your ear. They use it to track you. You can’t escape with it on.” 

June touched the tag with her thumb. They used GPS to monitor the handmaids. Of course. They saw her slow walks along the river with Emily. And Jezebels. The Commander had taken her there, twice. “You’re contraband,” he’d purred. All the while someone was watching. Did they know about her nights with Nick? Did somebody look down at her little dot atop the Waterfords' garage while she fucked in Nick’s bed? She gasped and looked at Matthew. 

“So they know I’m here?” 

“Everyone who’s taken by a black van comes here. You’re in the Central Interrogation Agency. But they can’t tell what floor or exactly where in the building, and we’ve managed to manipulate the system a bit to carve out a private block for ourselves in the second basement. It’s a bureaucratic donut hole in plain site. You’re safe here.” 

June rubbed the tag between her thumb and forefinger. “But I can’t leave with this on.”

“No, and unfortunately, we can’t just cut it off. That sets off an alarm in the tracking office. We have to keep the tag intact and here. Then, when a woman elsewhere in the building dies, we’ll copy some paperwork and burn your tag with her body. We’ve gotten rid of as many as three tags at a time that way.” 

June stared straight ahead and nodded. 

“We’ll use a local anesthetic and numb your whole ear. We’ll take away that bit of cartilage. I’ve gotten quite good at it. I’ll stitch it up nicely. Then it can start to heal while you’re here.” 

“And the top of my ear will be burned in a crematorium. Well, better that than all of me.” 

“Exactly. We’ll put something over the gap to cover it up when you leave, and I’m sure they do wonderful plastic surgery in Canada. I bet no one will be able to tell the difference.” Jonathan unfolded a piece of white cloth and spread it on the bed, next to June. He began to line up the knives and needles, as though he was preparing for a picnic on a summer day. “Hold still,” he said.


	2. Chapter 2

Matthew was right; June was bored. At the Waterfords’ she could sit on the window seat, bed, or chair, and look through the white curtains and out the window. Here she could only sit on the bed, toilet, or floor, and there was nothing to look at. She walked the four paces up and down the cell for hours. 

Once a day Matthew or Jonathan brought her food and examined the bandage on her ear. Matthew gave her a sun lamp and a worn copy of Gulliver’s Travels – “ironic, but that’s what was down here before we came.” June devoured the stories of made up places full of seemingly silly, cruel people. But she wondered what it would do to her mind. Idleness and satire were dangerous for her mental state. She needed to keep her shit together. 

On the seventh day, Nick came. He knocked on the door twice and waited for her to answer before he opened it, then stared at her from across the cell. 

After a moment, June spoke. “Hi.”

Nick smiled, slightly. “Hi. How are you?” 

“I’m okay. They’ve been good to me.” She stepped towards him, which caused her hair to shift. 

“Your ear!” Nick reached out to touch the bandage, then stopped. 

“Oh that.” June shrugged. “They had to do it. I’ll live. Thank you for getting me away from the Waterfords.” 

Nick turned away from her slightly. He was nervous, she realized. Or stressed. Maybe burdened. “It would’ve been impossible to do once the government knew you were pregnant. We had to do it right away, before we figured out where to go next.” 

“You don’t know what to do?” 

Nick turned back and stepped into her, so that their whole bodies nearly touched. “No. I’m trying to figure it out. You need paperwork to go anywhere, and some of it is hard to forge.” 

“I have a daughter.” 

Nick rubbed both of her arms, then clasped each of her hands in his. “I know. Matthew told me. We’ll get her out too. I’ll get it done, I promise.” He leaned down and kissed her. Slowly, tenderly. Matthew or Jonathan must be nearby. 

She pulled away after a minute. “Will I see you here again?”

“Probably not. It’s risky. They have a lot of checkpoints.” 

June nodded. “Then I’ll see you outside.” She smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

It was impossible to sneak a woman and child out of Gilead. 

Nick tried every tool he had. He spoke to Matthew and the few other people he knew who were involved in the underground. He quietly sought out details about other people’s escapes. A Martha in Chicago had disguised herself as a bootleg smuggler and crossed at a checkpoint undetected. A woman from Jezebels killed a driver and escaped in his car, drove all night and walked over the border in Vermont on foot. But each of those ideas was too risky. This was June, her child, and their child. Nick had only one shot to get it right. 

He hadn’t wanted to do it like this. He first considered helping her to escape after she was interrogated about Ofglen in Mrs. Waterford’s parlor. At first it was just a fancy, a dream he had sometimes to make himself feel better. He wasn’t sure when it grew into a commitment. Perhaps after he first drove her to Jezebels, or when he ended things and she told him that his caring for her was worth the risk of death. He couldn’t remember exactly when. 

But even once he’d decided, he assumed he’d figure it out over a few months. He began trying to plan. He knew relatively little about the resistance. Nick brought supplies to Matthew and some other resisters sometimes, but otherwise kept his head down. It seemed safer that way, to survive. 

Matthew had scoffed when Nick asked him to take on June. “Do you know how many handmaids there are in this district? They all want to escape. We have to prioritize – get out the people who are particular assets, who have information.” 

The night after June told him about the pregnancy, Nick went to Matthew and begged. “This is a terrible place for a child. It’s mine. Please.” Matthew finally agreed. But he wouldn’t help to get June out of Gilead. 

Nick didn’t realize that June had a daughter. How stupid – most of the handmaids had given birth before Gilead. But he didn’t like to think about June’s life before Gilead. Perhaps because it was too painful for him to imagine her life before and realize the magnitude of what she had lost. Or maybe it was to keep himself from doubting their relationship. In her old world – a job, a child, a husband probably – she wouldn’t have given Nick a second glance. 

It was easy enough to figure out where Hannah was, in a girls’ education home in Waltham. They’d changed her name to Sarah. He examined her file, pausing on the pictures of a little girl buried in a long pink dress, and used his position as a courier and Eye to speak to an Aunt there. She understood – emotional wives could be dangerous for the children, and each child was a national resource. She’d watch out for Sarah. She could even, she offered, help to facilitate Sarah’s transfer to a different community, if Nick though that would be safer. Nick should let her know. No need to drive all the way out to the home again. He could give a note to a friend of hers at the Cambridge body shop garage. 

The Aunt played the part of earnest, dimwitted believer well. Nick chose to trust her. But otherwise, he was alone.


	4. Chapter 4

The solution began to fall into Nick’s lap, via tragedy, three weeks later.

His father suffered a second stroke. He likely had weeks to live and was bedridden in Marysville, Michigan, less than a mile from the St. Clair River and Canada. 

Nick explained the situation to Commander Pryce. “You’re a good son, Nick. You embody the values of Gilead – family, loyalty. You should go to say goodbye to him before he leaves this earth. My office will arrange it.” The Commander paused for a moment. “You’re afraid of flying, aren’t you?” Nick looked ahead and said nothing. “You should drive there and back. We’ll have you take an official car. It’s an opportunity to send some things across, without any of the traitorous middlemen.” 

“Thank you, sir.” 

“Go in peace.”

And with that, Nick received a government car and travel documents.


	5. Chapter 5

When June saw sunlight for the first time again, she lifted her face up to the sky and breathed deeply. Two Eyes in black, she thought the same ones she’d seen before, had taken her from the cell that morning and driven her in a black van to this spot. “Change while we drive,” they said. June balanced herself against the side of the van and pulled on the gray dress and scarf of an econowife. She touched her hair to make sure it still covered her ear, where Matthew had glued on a light colored plaster the night before.

The eyes drove away and left June alone on a narrow road surrounded by trees. She stood next to one of the trees and waited. 

After several minutes, a small black car drove down the road and stopped in front of her. The driver’s door opened and Nick climbed out. 

She ran to him and hugged him. Nick pulled back. “It’s good to see you,” he said. “Get in.” 

She sat in the passenger seat. Nick began to drive. 

“How did you do it?” she asked. 

“I got permission to visit my dad in Michigan. He’s sick. We can get to Canada from there. I have all the documents we need for the drive. I just needed a marriage certificate, which is easy to forge. They make them en masse nowadays.” 

“You’re coming too?” 

“Yes.” Nick glanced at June. He expected her to respond in some way, but she just nodded. Her face looked more wrinkled than it was a moment before. 

“So we’re married?”

“Just last week, yes.” 

“Mazel tov.” 

Nick allowed himself a slight smile.

“And Hannah?” June asked. 

“She’ll be there, in Michigan. We’ll get her.” 

“How? How is she getting to Michigan?”

“I don’t know. They’ll contact us, somehow.” 

“Oh.” June bit her lower lip and looked out the window. They were passing through a pine forest now, and hills. 

Nick stared ahead at the road. 

He wished he had answers about Hannah. He’d gone directly from Commander Pryce’s office to the body shop garage. From the parked car he picked out the tall man with a scar down his right cheek. Nick waited for the man to walk in Nick’s direction before getting out. 

“Under his eye. I need a new drive belt. This one is wearing out. I heard you could help me?” 

“What type of belt?” Nick handed him a piece of paper. On it he’d written his father’s address in Michigan. “When do you need it by?”

“I don’t know yet. Er, this one is still working. In about a week?”

“Well, we don’t sell parts to people who don’t need them yet, even for Commanders’ cars. When you know the time you’ll need it, you come back and tell me.” 

Nick’s transportation and work leave passes came through three days later. He’d depart on Tuesday, in five days. He drove back to the garage. 

“How’s that belt working?” the man asked. 

“It’s worn out. I need it replaced for next Friday. Maybe I could come by and get the new one on Wednesday night or Thursday?” 

The man smiled and walked over to a table in the back of the garage. Nick followed him. “No need. Here you go.” The man picked up a box and tossed it to Nick. 

Nick sped home and ran up the stairs to his room with the box. Inside there must be instructions on who to contact or where to go to get Hannah. He opened the box. It was just a drive belt. 

And now he had no answers for June. Was she upset at him? Would she stare out the window and worry for two long days? He wanted to distract her. 

“It’s strange, isn’t it,” Nick started. “Driving like this. Did you ever do road trips before?” 

June glanced at him, then looked straight ahead. “It’s just amazing to see the sun again. But yeah, it’s strange. Luke’s parents lived in Nyack; we used to take this road sometimes to visit them.” 

“Luke was your husband? Hannah’s dad?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened to him?” 

“He’s in Canada, I think.” 

Nick’s eyebrows darted up for an imperceptibly brief moment. “He left before you did?”

“No, we were trying to escape, with Hannah. I ran with her towards the border while he distracted the soldiers. I heard gunshots. I thought he died, but someone told me that he’s alive.” 

“Oh.”

The absurdity of Nick’s situation flowed over him. Nick would either end up a refugee in a country where he knew no one or die trying to get there. He’d risked everything to get this woman and her daughter to Canada, where her husband was alive and living. Nick was a dunce. He looked at June from the corners of his eyes. 

But she would escape with his child too. And he loved her. 

“You know,” Nick said. “I don’t want you to feel any obligation about me. When you’re free, you can decide what you want. Whatever you want.” 

June turned her head and met his eyes for a moment, before he looked back at the road. Sometimes this man, so guarded and about whom she knew nothing, showed flashes of such honest care. “Thank you. Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do. I can’t actually imagine being out of this place, you know?” 

“Yeah.” 

June slouched back. Other than mentioning him briefly to Emily and the Mexican delegate, she’s not spoken aloud about Luke for three years. It felt good to talk about him and what had happened. 

“Even before I knew he was alive, it always felt like I was cheating on him. And after. But even though I know he’s out there, I can’t really picture him. He’s slipped away from me.” 

“What was he like?”

June laughed. “This is weird.” 

Nick smiled slightly. “It’s weird, and a little difficult to hear. But I want to know about you, if you’ll tell me. What made you fall for him?” 

“I didn’t want to fall for him. I was so young, I’d just graduated college, and he was older and married. But we just…clicked. We had this banter with each other, like we could just talk and laugh and amuse each other about anything. We never had to talk about it, it was just there. Like you and me with sex.” 

Nick grunted, then grinned. With teeth. “So you’re saying we have better sex?” 

June laughed and hit his chest with her hand. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant, we never had to work at it. It just happened. Like a chemical connection.”

Nick nodded and continued to smile. So, June’s husband was alive. And she fell in love with him for his banter. Nick would struggle to compete with that. He wasn’t much at conversation, even before Gilead. But he’d already moved heaven and earth to get them onto this highway. He would try anything. 

“We did a lot of road trips when I was a kid,” he said. 

June’s eyebrows furrowed. “Really?” 

“Yeah, you didn’t?”

“We went to New Hampshire sometimes.”

“That’s not a road trip. We did real, middle America road trips. Load up the car; drive all day; find a motel. Then get up and do it again. We went all over – the Black Hills, Disney World, the Grand Canyon, Branson.” 

“Branson?” 

“We went to Branson a few times. My mom was a Dolly Parton fan.” 

June laughed. 

“So this was the child Nick Blaine, at Dolly Parton concerts with his mom.” 

Nick smiled and looked at her. “Hey, my dad and brother were at the concerts too. My dad liked Dolly Parton, though I think he had different reasons.” 

June laughed again. “I did drive to Bar Harbor by myself once when I was 18. I’d just broken up with a guy and had this beat up old Honda Civic and decided to drive up the coast to Maine on a whim.” 

“Go experience emotion while the waves crash next to you?”

“Yes! It was like October and freezing and I was miserable. It was a terrible idea.” 

“I lost my virginity on the backseat of a Honda Civic.” 

June looked at him and snorted. “You did not!?” 

“Yes.” 

“Those backseats are small.”

“It wasn’t elegant.” 

June laughed again. This was easier than he’d imagined. “Who was the girl?” 

“Her name was Katie. We were 16.” 

“Have you seduced a lot of women in the backs of cars?” She was teasing him. Or was it digging for information, trying to orient herself? 

Nick smiled and bobbed his head. “I played around a little, after Katie moved away for college and before the steal plant closed. But I was never good at that. And after the plant closed, most of the women moved away.” 

“Why did they move away?”

“Nothing for them there. Every woman within 20 miles of Detroit was infertile because of the accident. They couldn’t have kids, so they were mostly focused on their careers, and there weren’t any jobs around there, so they left to build lives somewhere else.” 

“But not the men?” 

“Not as fast. I think women always had something to build their lives around, with children. When they couldn’t have that any more, they saw it was a crisis. The men – it took them longer to realize what it meant not to have anything.”

“So what happened to the men?”

“The Sons of Gilead.”


	6. Chapter 6

The first thing Nick did when he walked into their hotel room in Erie, Pennsylvania that night was to check the room for bugs. He didn’t find anything. He wondered why Gilead didn’t have more random surveillance. Perhaps every constituency wanted to keep its secrets. Or they wanted resisters to become complacent so that they’d make a mistake. In any event, he was glad for it that night. “We can just stay in the room. Rita packed a dinner.” Nick began to pull out glass containers from one of the bags.

“Is there really enough for two? You won’t be hungry?”

“I asked her to pack plenty. I think she suspected.” 

“Hmm,” June said. “It won’t seem strange to anyone if we stay here?”

“We’re newlyweds. It’s not strange.” Nick walked over to June and placed a hand on each of her hips. “Besides, I glanced in and it didn’t look like much of a restaurant. Just reheated dinners and a couple of old men playing a board game.” 

June’s body convulsed; she turned away from Nick and sat down on the foot of the bed. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

June shook her head. “Nothing, I just don’t want to think about playing board games.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“That’s what I did with the Commander in his office, mainly. He made me play Scrabble with him.”

“What?” 

“Thirty-nine games of Scrabble. It was…I don’t know what it was. Creepy. Moira said the Commanders all did crummy power trip plays with the Handmaids. That’s probably what it was.”

“Who’s Moira?”

“My best friend, my very best friend from before. She’s at Jezebels now.” June inhaled deeply. “They broke her. It’s funny, she was so strong at first. We were together at the Red Center and she used to tell me to do whatever I had to do to keep my shit together and survive. She got me through my first assignment and the Waterfords house. But her own words couldn’t keep her from breaking.” 

Nick sat down down next to June and rubbed his hand up and down her back. They sat in silence for a few minutes. 

At last June spoke, “What movies will you watch in Canada?” 

Nick stopped rubbing her back and looked at her, puzzled. “I’m, I hadn’t thought about it. I guess funny ones. No violence.” 

“I want to rewatch so many stupid movies. One time early on at the Red Center, they beat me really badly, and I focused on remembering every scene from Bridesmaids. I repeated them over and over again until I couldn’t feel anymore. It really worked, but I had to stop. Living in the memory of those movies would’ve made me go crazy.” 

Nick nodded and rubbed a strand of her hair through his fingers. “You are the strongest person I’ve known.” He stared at the strand of hair. It was good that she was starting to think about things from before. She must believe that they’d really escape. And one day she’d be so carefree that she could watch Bridesmaids and laugh again. It was a nice thought. He smiled. “That was a funny movie.” 

“Yeah.”

“But why is there an Irish cop living in the middle of Wisconsin?”

June laughed. “Really, the Irish copy ruined it for you?” She leaned closer to Nick’s face.

“He didn’t for you?”

June brushed her hand across Nick’s cheek. “No, Irish accents are sexy. I think all men should have sexy accents.” 

“Like an English accent? Or a sexy Michigander with slightly shifted vowels?”

“Aehh,” June said softly. She leaned closer and brushed her lips across Nick’s cheek. 

“You’re teasing me, aren’t you?” 

“Yes.” 

They began to kiss.

Hours later, they lay in the dark, June curled into Nick with her head resting on his chest. Nick wrapped his arm under her shoulder and put his hand on her side. He was careful not to touch her breasts; June had told him that they were tender. 

Nick spoke into the darkness. “You once said you wanted to know something about me.” 

“Hmm.”

“Well, this is the best moment, the best day in my life.” 

They lay in silence.

“I love you,” June said. 

Neither moved. Nick focused on the weight of June’s body against his and stared up to where the ceiling must be. He could hear June’s breathing slow. She’d fallen asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I made a stupid joke about how the actor who plays Nick (and every male actor in the show) is English. And I am not ashamed of that.


	7. Chapter 7

Nick and June rose early the next day and set off at sunrise, headed south first in order to make a loop around the old industrial cities of Cleveland, Toledo and Detroit. Each city had had its own disasters and was now abandoned, except for the few unlucky souls assigned to clean them up. 

Three and a half hours from Marysville, Nick pulled into a gas station in Delta, Ohio. “I need to drop something off here,” he said to June. “Commander Pryce’s orders.” He glanced in either direction while he pumped the gas. After a couple of minutes a black van pulled in and drove around the building. Nick finished pumping the gas and walked inside to pay. 

June climbed out of the car. Nick came back outside. June looked as though she was about to say something, but Nick spoke first. “The bathroom is around the side of the building. Do you want me to drive you?”

For a brief moment June stared at him. “No, I can walk. I could use stretching my legs.” 

“All right.” Nick paused. “I’m going to drive around to the back. I’ll pick you up after.” 

June nodded, turned, and walked towards the bathroom. 

Nick drove the car behind the building. Beyond him lay endless corn fields, just planted, with rows of short green stems stretched out to the horizon. The driver of the van was leaning against the hood of his van. He was a large man, with broad shoulders and a thick, though well trimmed, beard, which he absentmindedly stroked while he waited for Nick. 

Nick drove into the narrow gap between the black van and the station building, so that his car was hidden from view. He could only open the door a crack to squeeze out between it and the van. 

The man with the beard came around and stood in front of Nick’s car. “You’re from Boston?” he asked. 

“Yes. I have some things for you.” Nick went to the back of the car and opened his trunk. The man came forward into the space between the van and car and slid open the van’s side door. Nick handed bags to him from the car trunk. 

“That’s the last of it,” Nick said. “I’ll meet you here in a week for whatever stuff you have to send back.” 

“I doubt that. You better take it now.” The man leaned into the van and, bending his knees, balanced a large duffel bag onto his arms. He carried it to the back of the car and stepped in front of Nick to place it carefully into the trunk.

“What’s that?” Nick asked. 

“A package for you from Waltham” 

Nick’s mouth opened. “But you’re a courier for Commanders.” 

“I’m a free agent with a soft spot.” 

Nick looked down at the bag. He thought he saw it move slightly. “Jesus, I’m supposed to drive to Marysville like this?” 

“She took a pill. She’ll sleep most of the way. It’s okay, she understands what’s happening.” 

Nick bent down and spoke into the fabric of the bag. “Are you all right?” he asked quietly. 

“Yes,” said a voice. 

“What’s your name?” he asked. 

“Sarah,” said the voice. 

“Do you know your real name from before?” 

“Hannah.” 

Nick glanced up at the bearded man, then turned towards the bag again. “Okay Hannah, I’ll get you out as soon as I can.” 

Nick slowly climbed back into the car and considered the situation. He didn’t know how June would react to the news that Hannah was packed into the trunk in a duffel bag. She could scream; she could cry; she could insist on stopping and getting the girl out. All of which would endanger them. And what if the girl wasn’t Hannah? What if he gave June hope for the next few hours, only to have that hope destroyed again? 

He decided not to tell her. 

He made a U turn and pulled around the side of the building, where June waited for him by the bathroom door. “Is everything okay?” she asked as she climbed in.

“Yes, everything is good.”


	8. Chapter 8

The first thing Hannah remembered from her new life was a long, brown hallway. A woman in a brown robe walked from the end of the hallway towards her. Hannah watched her approach. She rubbed her shoulder and scratched at one leg with the other. They’d dressed her in a pink dress and it was itchy. 

“Sarah,” the woman in brown robes had said to her. “This is your new home.” 

Hannah began to cry. She didn’t want a new home. Or, rather, she wanted the new home that her parents had promised her. They’d told her they were running away to get there and they’d all live there together. 

There were many women in brown robes. They were sweet to Hannah, except when she did something she wasn’t supposed to do. She could do such few things now. She wasn’t allowed to kick a ball or run too fast or draw pictures. There weren’t any crayons or markers or books or paper. And no one would read to her. That was the hardest part at first. Her mom or dad used to climb into her bed and read to her every night before she went to sleep. Now the women in the brown robes just told her to put on her nightgown and get into bed. She cried before sleeping, for a long time. 

At first the women in brown robes told her that her parents didn’t want her anymore. They were cruel, selfish people who disobeyed God and hated her. But this made Hannah cry more, and sometimes when they told her this she would get mad and scream at the women and pull their hair. 

Then the women in the brown robes told Hannah that her parents were dead and that they were her parents now. This did not make Hannah angry, but she cried quietly and they left her alone to process the news. She remembered the last time she saw her parents – her dad shouting instructions after them as they ran into the woods, her mom’s pleas to the men with guns not to take Hannah away. They were so scared. Of course they died. Those men had killed them. Hannah recognized that now. 

And those same people had taken Hannah and put her in this house with the long hallway. They wouldn’t let her go to Canada to the new home that her parents had told her about. And if she got scared and screamed as loud as her parents had screamed, those people would probably kill her too. So Hannah decided to be quiet. 

The house with the long hallway and the women in brown robes wasn’t a bad place. There were lots of other girls there, each in a pink dress and with a single braid of dark hair running down her back (blonde children were adopted by Commander families, Hannah heard). Hannah could leave the house again when she was 14. She would go to her wedding and marry an Angel and live with him and do what God says. 

In the meantime, the women in brown robes had so much to teach the girls. They cooked and sewed and cleaned. For an hour each day the girls were each given a baby doll and taught to pray over it so that the Lord would make them fertile and give them children of their own. In the afternoon on days that it rained or snowed or was very cold, the girls sat on hard wooden chairs and stared straight ahead, focused on thinking about what God wanted them to do and not do. They must learn in silence with all subjection, the women in brown robes told them. But on nice days the girls went outside in the afternoon and played jump rope or hopscotch or jacks. 

It was hard, sometimes, to remember her life before. When Hannah started to forget her mom, or her old toys, or even her real name, she would sneak away from the group to an area of dirt, under the trees, and with her finger or foot quickly trace into the ground, “ABC.” She didn’t remember the other letters. The symbols conveyed noises. Hannah could write them; she could read them and whisper them aloud. So her life before wasn’t a dream. She’d look down at the three letters and recite them to herself, then destroy them with her foot and go to join the other girls again. 

For a while she had a friend. Her name was Ruth and they would do everything standing side by side – make their beds, mop the floors, wash the dishes, scrub the vegetables. One afternoon they crouched together in the yard to play jacks. 

“Tell me a secret,” Ruth said. 

“My name is Hannah.” 

“I’m Maddie.” 

They kept more distance from each other after that. Secrets were forbidden, and if the women in brown robes suspected that they had a secret, they would be punished. Maybe they’d get whipped on their hands or bottoms, or be forced to stand outside in the rain, or worse. So they stayed away from each other. But very occasionally, after an Aunt was particularly mean to one of them for not doing her chores adequately or breaking a rule, the other one would approach and whisper her name into her ear as they walked past each other. “Hannah.” “Maddie.” 

This helped Hannah to remember. 

One morning the women in brown robes took Maddie away. Hannah didn’t know where. She was scared for her friend and cried every night– she’d long ago learned to cry silently – but she knew she couldn’t let the fear overtake her. Her parents had gotten scared and then those people killed them. 

A few months later a beautiful blonde woman in a blue dress came and talked with Hannah for a few minutes on the front steps outside the house. Hannah had never sat on those steps before. It was strange. The woman reminded Hannah of her mom a bit. She wondered if the woman wanted to adopt her, even though she was dark. But she never saw the woman again. 

Then one morning, an Aunt woke her and told her to pack her things. “You’re being transferred to a different state,” the Aunt said. “To a place that doesn’t have enough children.” 

A driver took Hannah to a runway. She walked down the aisle of the plane, past dozens of other children. “We’re going west,” said the girl in the seat next to her. “They’ll drop us off in groups along the way.” 

The plane took off and the children flew above the clouds. Hannah thought she remembered flying on an airplane like this before, but she wasn’t sure. At the second stop an aunt at the front of the plane called out Hannah’s name. She came forward and disembarked onto another runway. There was another driver, dressed the same as the one she’d left behind. 

“Where are we?” Hannah asked. 

“Chicago,” he told her. “Blessed be the fruit. You’ll like it here.” 

But Hannah did not like it there. She went to another house, similar to where she’d lived before but with fewer girls. Two days later she became violently ill. 

Another car, another bed, this time in a hospital. She closed her eyes and tried to keep the puke inside of her, but it kept coming. She leaned over the bed and threw up over and over, while they pumped fluids into her arm through an IV. 

She lost track of time. It was dark now. The nurses had left her. She saw the outline of a person in the door frame. It was a man. He approached her. He was dressed in white and had a beard. He held out a pill in the palm of his hand. “Swallow this,” he said. 

“I can’t. I’m sick.” 

“No you’re not. Swallow it.” 

She took the pill and swallowed it. 

“There’s a bathroom down the hall. Have you used it before?” he asked. 

Hannah nodded. 

“Once you feel like you can stand, I want you to get up and go to that bathroom. You can bring the IV. If anyone stops you, tell them you have to use the bathroom. Do you understand?” 

Hannah nodded again. 

Twenty minutes later Hannah wheeled her IV stand into the bathroom. The bearded man in white was standing behind the door. He had a gun in his hand. 

“How do you feel?” 

“Better. A lot better.” 

“Good. Now listen. You have a decision to make. I can take you away from here.” 

“To where?”

“To somebody who will try to get you out of Gilead.” 

Hannah looked up at the man. “To Canada?”

“Probably. But it’ll be difficult. You’ll have to do exactly what you’re told. And it’s dangerous.” 

“You mean they could kill me.” 

The man was startled. He’d not heard a child speak like that since the early days of Gilead. Nowadays most of them didn’t realize. Or if they realized, they kept quiet. 

“You can stay here,” he said. “Go back to your bed. In the morning, when they see that you’re well, they’ll take you back to the girls’ home. You can live there, just like you lived before. It’ll be safer. It’s up to you if this is worth the risk.” 

Hannah thought for a moment about Canada and her parents and how scared they were the last time she’d seen them. The only reason to stay here was because the thought of doing anything else scared her. And if you became too scared in Gilead, you died. “I want to go to Canada.” 

The man disconnected the IV from Hannah’s arm, ordered her to stay put, and then slipped into the hallway with the IV. A few minutes later he came back. “I have a gurney outside. Climb under the sheet, lie flat, and stay quiet.” 

“All right.” 

The man wheeled Hannah down the hall. She felt the movement of an elevator, then more wheeling, then she was being lifted into something. She could hear the sound of an engine. The man was driving her away. 

Hannah continued to lie still. She thought of her training on bad weather days. A girl must learn silence with all subjection. Do not speak; do what God commands and what others tell her to do. She thought of her memories from before, with her parents, when she could run around and be loud and draw pictures and read books. She wanted to go back. And she would do anything - sit as still as needed, as silently as needed, for as long as needed – in order to get there. 

After a while the bearded man told her to get out of the ambulance and get into the trunk of another car. He brought her to a house where a woman in a gray dress laid out a feast of food in front of her. 

“Eat,” she said. “You need the nourishment.” 

Hannah, who only hours before had thrown up more than she could’ve imagined possible, dug into the food. There were mashed potatoes, corn bread, beans, and even a bit of roast beef. She’d never been allowed so much at a meal. Economy, moderation, and making the most of ration tickets had been integral parts of her education. She wondered how many meals these people went without in order to feed girls like her. 

After Hannah finished, the woman left the kitchen and the bearded man sat down next to her. “How did you feel in the trunk?”

“I don’t mind the dark,” said Hannah. It wasn’t her first time lying in a trunk, in blackness, while a car moved. She thought she remembered doing it before. Or perhaps she just dreamed it. It was the sort of thing she would dream about. 

“I’m going to drive you someplace a few hours from here. We’ll take a special van. No one will stop us. You can sit on the floor in the back, behind my seat, so that no one will see you.”

“OK.”

“I’m going to give you a duffel bag. When I stop, I want you to get into the bag. We’ll practice how you fold your legs and climb into it. You’ll also take a pill that I’ll give you. It’ll make you sleepy. You’ll be inside the bag for a while and you need to stay still. It’s better if you sleep.” 

Hannah nodded. “Where will you take me in the bag?”

“I’m going to give you to someone who will take you someplace safe. He’ll tell you when it’s okay to come out.” 

“Will I stay in the bag all the way to Canada?”

“No, I don’t think so.” 

Hannah considered this. She hadn’t met many men in her life. Inside the girls’ homes there were only women in brown robes. She thought back to her dad, her grandpa, and her parents’ friends. “Have I seen the man before?” 

“I don’t know. But if you want to get out, you need to trust him. Can you do that?”

“Yes,” Hannah said. She could.


	9. Chapter 9

They pulled into Nick’s father’s driveway in Marysville in the late afternoon. It was a two story townhouse, with a garage that spanned almost the entirety of the unit. Nick parked in front of the garage and walked up to the front door with a key. 

June looked up at the house. “You used to live here?” she asked.

“Not really. Our house was inside the expanded perimeter. When they moved everyone out of there, they assigned my dad this place. A sort of thank you for my service.” Nick turned the key and walked inside. “Let’s look around.” 

Nick walked through the living room and kitchen, and then upstairs to the bedrooms. His father slept in one. Nick didn’t wake him. There was no one else in the house. 

Nick went back downstairs and into the garage. He pressed the opener and went to move the car inside. June walked in from the house and watched him park. He walked over to her and reached over her shoulder to press the opener. He stayed in that position and looked down at her until the garage door closed. Then he stepped back. 

“I, I didn’t know. I want you to know that,” he said. He went to the back of the car and opened the trunk.

June stayed by the door to the house, in front of the car. “What is it?” she asked.

Nick didn’t answer. He leaned down into the trunk and carefully unzipped the bag. A little girl with curly brown hair stared up at him. She looked like the photographs he’d seen. He let out a sigh. “It’s okay, you can come out now,” he said. He pulled the bag away from the girl’s legs and held out his arm to help the girl up. 

Hannah grabbed onto his arm and stood up, then reached a leg over the trunk and leaped down onto the floor of the garage. 

“Are you okay?” Nick asked.

“Yes,” said Hannah.

June couldn’t see Nick through the trunk lid, but she thought she heard a voice that wasn’t his. “Nick?” she asked as she walked over to him. She came around the car and saw. 

June laughed and sobbed. She crouched down as if to hug the girl, then scratched at her eyes, then reached out her arms again to embrace her.

The light was low in the garage. Hannah shifted her weight and tried to adjust to standing after hours curled up in darkness. She was sleepy. Her attention had focused on Nick. Now she turned and stared at the crying woman who was crouching with her arms extended next to her. The woman’s face was scrunched up and red so that Hannah couldn’t see it. She stared at the woman for a moment, trying to make out her features. “Who are you?” she asked. 

The woman sat back and cried harder. She tried to speak but couldn’t form her noises into words. 

“She’s your mother, Hannah,” Nick said. 

Hannah stepped forward, so that her legs touched the legs of the sitting woman’s, and tried to make out her face. The woman stopped rubbing at her eyes and looked back at Hannah. 

Hannah changed her attention to the woman’s hair. It was blonde. Her mother had blonde hair. Hannah tried to remember what her mother looked like. “They killed my mom,” Hannah said. 

“No, no, my sweety, they didn’t,” June’s tears continued, but she could speak now. “They took me away and wouldn’t let me see you and I am so sorry, but I’m here now. And I love you so so much.” 

Hannah continued to stare at the woman’s face. She recognized the woman’s voice, she thought. Did she? “Mommy?” Hannah began to cry. She leaned down and embraced June. Together they sat on the floor of the garage and cried and hugged. 

Nick felt a tear run down his cheek. He turned and walked into the house to his father's room, where the sound of the garage would've woken him.


	10. Chapter 10

The room where Nick’s father lay was bare, except for a single chair and small table that was covered in pill bottles and Ensure shakes. Nick sat down in the chair next to the bed. He and his father stared at each other. 

“You made it,” his father said. “It’s good to see you.” His breathing was labored and he spoke slowly, but his words were clear. 

“You too,” said Nick. “Listen, I brought two people with me. A woman and her daughter.” 

“You’re not going back to Boston, are you?”

“No.”

“Well,” his father chuckled. “You’ve finally rebelled. Your brother would be pleased.” 

Nick looked away. “The woman’s name is June. She’s pregnant and it’s mine.” 

His father smiled. “You’re going to be a dad.” 

Nick nodded. 

“A Martha comes to help me every morning at 9:00. There’s a trap door in the living room floor they can hide under. I dug it out after I moved in. If you look closely along the far wall you can find it.” 

“Why did you do that?”

“In case Joshua ever came back. I wanted a place to keep him safe. What’s the girl’s name?”

“Hannah.” 

“Bring them up here so that I can meet them.” 

Nick walked down the stairs and saw June alone in the living room. 

“Hannah is in the bathroom,” she said. “Thank you.” 

Nick embraced her and nuzzled his head against hers, into her hair. They stood in each other’s arms for a moment. 

“My dad wants to meet you,” he said.

“I was thinking,” said June. “Let’s not mention to Hannah about the pregnancy. I don’t know how she’d take it, and at this stage the odds aren’t good.” 

Nick felt a twinge of pain flash through his body. He had tried not to think about the odds. “All right. Come upstairs when you’re ready.” 

Nick went back up to the bedroom to wait with his father. After a couple of minutes June and Hannah walked in.

“I’m Richard. It’s my joy to meet you.” He padded the bed next to him. 

Hannah stepped forward and sat down on the bed, next to the man’s legs. He looked very tired and wrinkled. Hannah had never seen such an old person. She tried to remember what her grandpa looked like. She wondered if he would’ve looked like this man too. 

June stepped forward and carefully grasped Richard’s hand in hers. “It’s good to meet you too.” She and Richard smiled at each other. Nick watched the three of them and smiled as well.


	11. Chapter 11

In the morning, after the Martha came to wash his father, Nick drove down to a farm house outside of town. A man in overalls came out to meet him. 

“You’re Tony?” Nick asked.

“Yes. Who sent you?”

“I’m from Boston. Someone there told me to come to you.” 

“What do you need?”

“To get across the river.”

“That’s impossible. Your friend in Boston is out of date. Gilead has patrollers on the river and sensors with dynamite in the water. There’s no way across anymore.” 

“How do people cross now?” 

“I don’t know. Anyone who comes, I send them east or west. Not many come anymore. My contacts down the line were arrested or fled.” 

“Going elsewhere isn’t really an option. I have a pregnant woman with me and her eight year old daughter.” 

Tony’s eyebrows lifted. “Well, that’s a hard one. You brought them all the way from Boston?”

“I had documents to get here from Boston. I don’t have papers to go someplace else.” 

“Hmm.” The man thought for a minute. “I have one boat left. It’s battery powered with a plastic prop. If you keep the prop high, it should stay above the sensors.” 

“And the patrollers?” 

“You can launch the boat from south of town. Most people try to cross further north at Stag Island. It’s narrower there and you could do it in a raft. That’s where they patrol at night mostly. Where are you staying?”

“Cuttle Rd, by the old Riverview Golf Course.” 

The man nodded. “There’s a yard with trees down to the water, about three miles from there. All those river front homes have been abandoned, so no one would see you. I can get the boat there tonight. But you’ll have to walk there. Can you all walk three miles?” 

Nick thought about the hours Hannah spent curled into a suitcase. “I think so.”

“I’ll give you directions. You cut across the golf course, then past the old factory and through some woods. I’ll show you a map and teach you the way.” 

“What time should we leave?”

“Early. You want to cross before sunrise.” 

“So we’ll walk in the dark?”

“There’s a moon tonight. You’ll manage.” 

Nick nodded. He followed the man inside to look at the map.


	12. Chapter 12

When Nick returned to the house, he found Hannah and June sitting with his father and laughing. “Richard is telling us about your road trips. Did you really try to kick open a cactus at the Grand Canyon?” 

“I wanted to see if it really had water in it. I was only eight.”

“I’m eight and I wouldn’t do that.” Hannah giggled. 

Nick smiled. “Well, one day you’ll see a cactus and then you’ll know what you’d do.” He looked at June. “Could you two give us a minute?” 

“Sure.” June and Hannah left them. 

“What is it?” Richard asked. 

“We leave a couple of hours before dawn tomorrow and walk to a hidden boat three miles downstream.” 

“Sounds doable. But you’re worried?”

“We walk for an hour. If they see us, they’ll shoot us. Then we cross the river in the dark. If they see our boat, they’ll shoot us. If we trip a sensor along the way, we’ll blow up.” 

“What’s the alternative?”

Nick lowered his head and scratched at the back of his neck. “There isn’t one. But it’s dangerous.” 

“Worth it, though.” 

Nick rubbed his hand across his face and didn’t respond. 

“You know,” said his father, “I always loved my sons, each of you, very much. Joshua was a shattered man by the time the Sons of Jacob came, and I respected how he tried to stand up to them nonetheless. It was foolish, but I respected it. And I respected you for taking a job and trying to make the new system work. But I was never really proud, until today. Here you are. Whatever’s past, you’re going to have a family and you’re giving them a better life. I am proud of you.” 

Nick took one of his father’s hands between his. “I'll miss you,” he said. 

“I had my life. Now go live yours.” 

Nick looked up at the white shades that covered the window. “We might be back here, tomorrow. If we can’t make it to the river or the boat doesn’t work, we’ll come back and figure out something else.”

Richard shook his head. “They’re going to realize that you’re missing, probably sooner than you think. You shouldn’t come back here.”

“I’m sorry, Dad,” Nick muttered. 

“Don’t be sorry. Be brave.” 

Nick leaned down and slowly kissed his father on the cheek. Then he went to find June and Hannah.


	13. Chapter 13

Nick could see enough by the light of the moon, if he just kept moving forward. They rushed along the trees that lined the golf course, hid in the shadows of the walls of the abandoned aluminum plant, crossed the highway, and entered into the woods beyond. The ground was uneven. Tony had told Nick to follow one of the gullies south, to where the woods were cleared for a power line. Then turn left towards the river and find the house with the U shaped driveway. A boat would be hidden in the yard behind it. Nick held onto Hannah’s hand and hurried them along. 

June began to pant. She thought back to the weeks she spent walking the four paces up and down her prison cell. They hadn’t prepared her for this. She focused on Nick’s jacket and tried to match his pace. He wore black, and though they were next to each other, it was hard to see him through the shadows of the trees. 

There were voices. It was unclear if they were far or close. Then flashlights between the shadows. 

Nick instantly picked up Hannah and sprinted out of the gully and into the thicker woods. He thought he could feel June’s hand against his back. But when he knelt down next to a fallen tree and turned, she wasn’t there. 

He peered out at the trees. He couldn’t see her. 

He dug out a hole underneath the fallen tree. “Climb in and stay quiet,” he commanded. Hannah did as she was told. 

Nick glanced around at the trees. He ran back towards the gully, remembering each step so that he could find his way back. June wasn’t there. He ran along the gully, hunched over, frantically looking between the trees. He could still hear the voices, though the lights seemed farther off. Then they turned and began to come towards him again. Nick ran into the nearest shadow and froze. 

What had happened to her? It didn’t sound like the men with flashlights had found her. Had she fallen? Was she hurt? Or unconscious? Would they find her when the sun came up? 

Nick began to process his situation. He had an hour or less of darkness left. This wood was small and surrounded by roads on all sides. Once the sun rose, none of them would be able to leave. If the sun rose while they were in the boat, the patrollers would see them and shoot. And if they left the boat where Tony had hidden it, the patrollers on the river would likely spot it and destroy it. They were sitting ducks. 

He thought back to the night that he saw Matthew after he’d helped June to escape the Waterfords’ home. “She says she won’t leave without her daughter,” Matthew had said. “And she means it.” 

Nick decided. He waited for the lights and voices to dim again, and then raced back to Hannah. He helped her up and began to lead her down the gully. They followed the shadow of the trees along the power line until they reached a clearing. Beyond that, by the moonlight, Nick could see a road, and beyond that a large U shaped driveway. 

“I’m going to carry you,” he said to Hannah, and then scooped her up over his shoulder, so that her head hung down against his back. He looked each way one last time, and then ran as fast as he could for the house at the end of the driveway. He reached the house and put Hannah down, then held her hand and led her around the building. 

He could see why Tony picked this yard. On the north side a row of trees blocked the view; on the south side, a house on a flag lot went up almost to the water’s edge. They were protected. 

He found the boat leaned against the flag lot house and behind a row of bushes. It was a canoe really – narrow and long. The sort of boat that pairs of children would learn to paddle at summer camp. On one end there was a battery that was attached to a small plastic outboard prop. Nick pulled the boat to the water’s edge, glanced around once more, and then pushed it into the water. He motioned for Hannah to climb in. 

“Stay down,” he said. Hannah didn’t speak, but lay down flat across the bottom of the boat. 

Nick sat on the bottom as well. He used the steering rudder stick to pull the prop up as high as it would go while still being in the water, then reached his arm out and pushed them away from the shore. He turned on the rudder and aimed for the other side. 

It was strangely quiet on the water. Nick hadn’t expected that. As the minutes went on he could feel thoughts come to the forefront of his mind. He pushed them back. His job wasn’t done. 

They reached the other side. Nick pulled the boat up out of the water and onto the grass. A boat house, half ruined, blocked the boat from view from across the river. He took off his holster and dropped his handgun into the hull, then grabbed Hannah’s hand and ran with her past more abandoned houses and to an empty street. He peered through the early dawn. After a few minutes he saw a car approach them. Nick let go of Hannah’s hand and walked out into the middle of the road with one arm raised.


	14. Chapter 14

Hannah clutched the manila envelope that the woman behind the desk had handed to her and said nothing. She had not said anything since they left the old man’s house and walked into the darkness. Nick had held her hand and run next to her. She knew that she shouldn’t be scared, but she was so scared. And then her mother had disappeared into the blackness and Hannah hid under the tree and cried silent tears until Nick came back to her. And then they kept running and crossed the river and left her mother behind. 

“Thank you. Can we be alone?” Nick said to the woman behind the desk. He turned to Hannah, “Hannah, please speak to me.”

Hannah said nothing. Nick began to panic. He wanted to plead with her. He thought back to when he broke things off with June. She’d pleaded for him to talk to her. She’d wanted to know what he was feeling. He hadn’t answered. 

After a minute he said, “I’m heartbroken that your mom isn’t here with us. Are you sad too?” 

Hannah stared straight ahead. If she looked at his face she might start to cry again, and Hannah didn’t want to cry anymore. “Yes,” she finally stammered. 

“I’m going to go get her. I’ll bring her here and you’ll be together.” 

Hannah looked at Nick. “You’re leaving me?” 

“Your dad is on his way here.” 

“My dad?”

“Do you remember your dad?”

“My dad is dead.”

“No, he’s here in Canada. He loves you and he’s going to take care of you.” 

Hannah looked at Nick for a moment more, then stood from her chair and hugged him. He hugged her back.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Nick asked her. 

“No,” she said. 

“Do you want to pick out a different outfit? The woman said there’s a whole room full of clothes.” 

“What color?”

“Any color you want. And pants. Whatever you choose.” 

Choices. Hannah remembered choices, or remembered remembering them for years and years. She looked at Nick. “Do you think they have books here?” 

“Yes! I think they have lots of books.” 

“Do you know how to read?”

Nick smiled. “I do.” 

“Could you read to me? And show me the words?” 

“I would love that.” 

Soon Nick and Hannah were curled up together on the floor next to a bookshelf, with Hannah sitting in Nick’s lap as he underlined each word with his finger and read them aloud. They read alphabet books (“I remember these letters!” Hannah exclaimed) and a book about how children around the world were all different but all the same. He read aloud from Dr. Seuss about the places she would go and the creatures she would meet. Nonsense things, but beautiful and comforting. He read until his throat was dry and he thought his lips couldn’t move anymore, and then he and Hannah fell asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading my story! I have ambitious plans on where it'll go next, and about 7500 words of non-consecutive pieces written, but it's going to take a lot of work. If you want me to continue, please leave a comment - I need all the encouragement I can get.

A woman rubbed Nick’s shoulder to wake him. “Excuse me,” she said. “Her father just pulled up outside.” 

Nick squeezed Hannah’s body. She sat up from his chest and began to unwind herself from his lap. 

“Do you remember what your dad looks like?” Nick asked her.

“I don’t think so.” 

“Well, let’s go meet him.” 

The woman led them out of the room and into a hallway. At the other end, a man and woman walked into the hall from outside. 

“Hannah!” The man ran down the hallway and swept the girl into his arms and started to kiss her. Hannah didn’t resist. Nick wondered if she was happy, or if it overwhelmed her. 

Luke put Hannah down. “Hannah, this is Moira. Do you remember Moira, Mommy’s friend?” 

Hannah looked blankly up at the woman. “Hello.” 

“Moira?” Nick asked. “You were in Jezebels, June said.” 

Moira looked up from Hannah to Nick, surprised. “Yeah. I escaped three weeks ago. Who are you?”

Nick stared at her. June thought that they’d broken Moira. But three weeks ago a woman from Jezebels killed a driver, drove all night and walked over the border. It was her. 

“My name is Nick Blaine. I know June from in there.” 

“Nick is going to get Mom out,” Hannah said. 

“What?” asked Luke. 

“We lost her just before we crossed. She’s on the other side of the river. I’m going to find her.” 

“You’re going back into Gilead? Are you fucking crazy? That’s a death sentence!” Moira exclaimed. 

Moira had mouthed the curse, but still. Nick looked down at Hannah. He hoped they’d be careful about what they said around her. Then again, In the scheme of things, a few curses didn’t matter. There was little about Gilead that Hannah hadn’t already seen or experienced. 

He looked up at Moira and smiled. “Well, I’m going to try.” 

“Who are you exactly?” Luke asked. “Are you a smuggler or you work for the resistance in some way?” 

“No. I just love her,” Nick said. He crouched onto the floor and gave Hannah one final hug before he turned and walked away.


End file.
